Last night we attended a Social Studies Department grill out at a coworkers home. My department is made up of 6 men and 3 women, and everyone besides me is a coach of some kind. While they are great teachers, they are COACHES in every sense of the word. Meetings have been spent replaying games, group outings revolve around sporting events, etc. They all love their sports.
Last night was fun. We chatted, had a drink, ate....and then we moved out back to play swing ball and beanbags. And then they started talking about the fall sports. And I realized....I don't fit in here anymore. My one non-coaching comrade moved away, so I have nothing to contribute. True, I did coach cheerleading (and turned the squad around in very short time) but they saw that as a joke....not a TRUE sport. Some still tease me about that, and i haven't coached in 3 years. And so I realized that I'm all by myself. I have aquaintances at work, but no real FRIENDS. That made me feel very lonely, and also made me realize that I am going to have to work to be seen as an equal. My teaching credentials aren't going to cut it anymore within my department. I may eat by myself. I might be lonely at work. I could be the old Sesame Street snippet, "One of these things are not like the other". It's kind of a scary feeling to have to go out and make friends at 29 years old.
So, I feel like 1st graders do....Will I make friends back at school? Will the other kids like me? Will I fit in with the in-crowd? It's an unsettling feeling, but one I'll have to get over.
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But I'm not all doom and gloom. I received the Brillante Weblog Primo 2008 award from my real life and bloggy friend Green Girl, which I was quite pleased to see, especially since I'm new to the bloggy community and I know she reads many other blogs each day taht are better and funnier and more thought provoking than mine. :) Thanks for the honor Green Girl!
Also, tomorrow night is Dinner and a Movie night with my cousins. On tap: the Ground Round restaurant, and then the early show of Mamma Mia! I'm looking forward to the evening, because my cousins are great fun to be around....lots of belly laughs in my future!
AND......tonight is the Women's Gymnastics All Around competition in the olympics! I've been sucked in big time to the Olympics this time around. It's just so exciting to watch!!!! I wanted to be a gymnast when I was a kid (no chance, since my thighs and hips have been big since 3rd grade) so watching these young girls flip around amazes me.
So, tonight will be spent cuddling my Baby A, drinking a Diet Mt. Dew, and enjoying some quality TV! I don't have too many cuddle nights left with Baby A since work begins in 1.5 weeks. Better enjoy them while I can!!!!
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2 comments:
I cannot imagine you without friends all around, ma'am. But I hear you about the misfit feeling. It bites.
Seriously - you're making me cry (and feel gobs of Catholic guilt!). We will come up with a scandalous plan for you to win Miss Popularity by the end of Term 1 :) Have no fear!
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